Aromantic Assassins

Parker:
Archie: Now, my boy -
Parker, interrupting: I'm not your boy!
Archie: I beg your pardon?
Parker: I'm not a boy! I'm a girl! *stomps foot*
Archie: Well, then, my girl, run through this obstacle course. There is something nice at the end.


Hardison:
Hardison: Nana, you know some boys like kissing boys?
Nana: Yes, Alec, and don't you go calling them 'queers' or 'faggots', they don't like that.
Hardison: Yes, Nana. I won't. But do you think that's a problem?
Nana: You tellin' me you like boys, boy?
Hardison: I like 'em both, Nana. It's called bisexual.
Nana: Is it now? That's nice. Now, Alec, you listen to me. Some people do think it's a problem, and you'll be better off not telling them. Doesn't matter if you lie to other people, boy, just don't lie to yourself. And if that changes, or you like one better than the other, or you run into one of those people who isn't a man or a woman and you like them too, you don't lie to yourself about that, either. You hear me, boy?
Hardison: Yes, Nana.
Nana: Good. Now go chop those potatoes.

Eliot:
Eliot's Dad: What you wanna go off to the army for?
Eliot: I can't stay here.
Eliot's Dad: And why not? You run the hardware store, no-one'll fuss you. We've got a place in this town, Clairy.
Eliot: You've got a place, Dad. Sarah's got a place. Ain't no room for me.
Eliot's Dad: You marry some nice boy, settle down, you'll find one.
Eliot: I ain't gonna do that.
Eliot's Dad: Why not?
Eliot: I just won't.
Eliot's Dad: That's no reason.
Eliot: I ain't a girl, Dad, an' no boy'll have me.
Eliot's Dad: You what?
Eliot: You never caught on, really? I played football, Dad, I'm a quarterback. I ain't worn a dress since I was six years old. An' they all call me Eliot. I'm a boy, Dad.
Eliot's Dad: My daughter ain't no kind of queer.
Eliot: You're damn right, Dad, your daughter ain't. But I ain't your daughter.
Eliot's Dad: Guess I ain't your father, then.
Eliot: Fine.